No, I’m not talking about what its like on the other side cause frankly, I wouldn’t know though my physio-therapist after I described what had happened in the accident told me that the brief seconds I was blacked out is what death felt like, but how would he know right?? I’m talking about those of us left behind after the death to feel the pain of loss and struggle to no avail to fill the gap left by the one we have lost. Sometimes, depending on who we lose, they take with them our will to live.
Many a time we lament on how we wish we could have had more time and how there is so much we cud have wanted to say that wasn’t said, so much you wanted to do that wasn’t done. I remember, when my grandfather died at the ripe old age of eighty-something I wasn’t crying cause of what I wished we could have done but didn’t but more so that I had lost my grandfather, its like an a very old person dies, its inevitable do you celebrate their life more than mourn for the loss of it. However when someone from our generation or younger dies, the story is different.
This morning I woke up to the news that my ex-boyfriend, the 1st guy I actually had a serious relationship with had died after being ill. I felt broken. To say we were friends would be stretching the truth we were more of acquitances after we broke up, we got along yes, but I remember how last time we spoke, I snapped at him cause he irritated me and I actually deleted him off my BBM list, I kept telling myself that I should talk to him and apologising for snapping cause we females do have the tendency tobe irrational but just kept saying, I’ll do it, I’ll do it cept now he is dead and I never got the chance. RIP Bwalya.
It got me to thinking, cause I kept lamenting on the things I wanted to say that I didn’t say, why do we live our lives like that?? Where its only when the person departs from this world that we cry about the things we wanted to say, things we wanted to do and all that. It made me resolve to live each day fulfilled, saying all I need to say, doing all I need to do, making memories with the people I love so that when either you or I eventually depart from this world, instead of mourning about how we didn’t get enuff time together, we wonder where we found the time to do all that we did so that even after death, life will continue.
Elle Evolved 
Well my dear friend it wasn’t ur time to be with him & u made the choice to not to iron things out. Its ok, just remember the good n not the bad because the GOOD always out weighs the bad! So please carry on & I know its painful because I went threw watching my boy friend die n experience some thing beautiful to be with him was my reward, I was chosen to be by his side n total comfort & I brought him great joy!Don’t waste time on the should haves-Life’s 2 Short! Bless you on moving forward!