A beautiful mess
Initially, this post should have been titled happy endings but then right now I am listening to the musical genius that is Jason Mraz I felt this title adequately summed up my life at the moment. I haven’t posted in a while cause my life was seemingly headed in a downward spiral one aspect of it anyway
and I sort of lost interest in anything well that isn’t school or sport. Then today, I happened to come across Djlallita’s blog and I don’t know I felt inspired to come here and pour out my feelings…
I recently went through a break-up which I still don’t know how to react to in all honesty been with the guy for almost four years and I was certain that this is the guy I wanted to spend the rest of my life with but then a few months ago I started panicking. Thinking to myself what if I wake up one day realising that I had let my whole life pass me by and end up going eat, pray, love on my family?? I felt like I was so absorbed in the relationship that I did not know who I was outside it, and I expressed my feelings and fears to said partner and at first all was going well and then one tiny indiscretion on my part and DUMPED!
lol and I don’t know it kinda hit hard cause in as much as it was unfair on my part to kinda expect him to wait on me while I have my eat, pray love ,moment now, I didn’t expect the door to be shut and firmly so. However, I started picking myself up and each day I find out something new about myself. News about him stings a little or makes me wonder but I am done dwelling on what could have been and I am actually on the path of discovery which is what I wanted in the first place. I actually have a crush *giggles* which has its annoying moments, I feel like I am back in highschool. lol
A motto I always live by well not really a motto but a way of life, I try really hard not to say things in anger unless the person is a stranger to me whom I will never lay eyes on ever again. hurtful words exchanged can never be taken back even with a thousand I’m sorry’s so when in argument with people I love and care about, I tend to pick the third, fourth or fifth statement to come to mind, never the first or second cause more often than not they lead to a a bridge burnt that takes ages to rebuild. Ok now I have lost my train of thought as I have just returned from 4 excruciating hours of class.. anyway my point is we need to choose our words carefully cause they tend to cause the most unseen scars and affect people’s lives in more ways than one.. There is no reason you cannot reach amicable solutions without the exchange of harsh words..
wow the way I have jumped topics , just cause to show what a mess albiet beautiful my mind is at the moment. I am on this path of self discovery 🙂 and I’m learning new things about my self everyday I really should keep a journal about the next few months of my life would not like my readers to be subjected to every gory detail of my life, lol unless of course you don’t mind then who am I to say otherwise.
In other news, the varisty monster has hit and hard at that grrrrrr. Finals in two weeks but on the up side in about 3 and a half weeks I will have an LLB 🙂 yay me!!
anyway ummm I will sign off by saying, no regrets in life, just lessons learned. on that note, I bid you farewell.