Bits of Luwi

Live, Laugh, Love….

Archive for the month “March, 2013”

Life after death

No, I’m not talking about what its like on the other side cause frankly, I wouldn’t know though my physio-therapist after I described what had happened in the accident told me that the brief seconds I was blacked out is what death felt like, but how would he know right?? I’m talking about those of us left behind after the death to feel the pain of loss and struggle to no avail to fill the gap left by the one we have lost. Sometimes, depending on who we lose, they take with them our will to live.  

Many a time we lament on how we wish we could have had more time and how there is so much we cud have wanted to say that wasn’t said, so much you wanted to do that wasn’t done. I remember, when my grandfather died at the ripe old age of eighty-something I wasn’t crying cause of what I wished we could have done but didn’t but more so that I had lost my grandfather, its like an a very old person dies, its inevitable do you celebrate their life more than mourn for the loss of it. However when someone from our generation or younger dies, the story is different. 
This morning I woke up to the news that my ex-boyfriend, the 1st guy I actually had a serious relationship with had died after being ill. I felt broken. To say we were friends would be stretching the truth we were more of acquitances after we broke up, we got along yes, but I remember how last time we spoke, I snapped at him cause he irritated me and I actually deleted him off my BBM list, I kept telling myself that I should talk to him and apologising for snapping cause we females do have the tendency tobe irrational but just kept saying, I’ll do it, I’ll do it cept now he is dead and I never got the chance. RIP Bwalya. 
It got me to thinking, cause I kept lamenting on the things I wanted to say that I didn’t say, why do we live our lives like that?? Where its only when the person departs from this world that we cry about the things we wanted to say, things we wanted to do and all that. It made me resolve to live each day fulfilled, saying all I need to say, doing all I need to do, making memories with the people I love so that when either you or I eventually depart from this world, instead of mourning about how we didn’t get enuff time together, we wonder where we found the time to do all that we did so that even after death, life will continue. 


So, I’m sitting here, waiting for the salon to open, its bout 8am having a bowl of fruit salad which let’s be honest is just a couple of chopped up apples and a sliced banana with just a dash of pineapple but oh well,you know what they say an apple a day! 

Of late I have found myself to be well, quite unhappy I have had to go through so much the past couple months and I generally just haven’t known how to deal. I read a blog from a friend of mine the other day and one of her posts was a reflection on the mistakes she had made and how she was probably still gonna make more than a handful that got me thinking, I made mistakes, I’m gonna make a thousand more, will I let each mistake get me down?? That’s like a lot of unhappiness for one to deal with in a life time me thinks. 

One thing that irks me is how people brand themselves as understanding until faced with a real life situation in which you expect them to understand instead you find yourself on the receiving end of hostility. 

*side thought*, I really don’t like apples, so having to dig thru a bowl full of apples is nothing short of torture I swear. Only reason I’m eating is cause I’m paying for these errrrr apples. 

I really need to get into the habit of jotting down my thoughts, cause this week I had so much to say just no time to write it down but now I’m blank hmmmmmm oh well, guess until next time, xoxo L. 

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